The Questionnaire

By Dotan Schachter and Sinai Gez

The Questionnaire with Arthur M. Jolly / By Dotan Schachter

May 17th, 2010 • Categories: Additional Questionnaires, Playwrights, Screenwriters, Writers

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The Questionnaire with Arthur M. Jolly / By Dotan Schachter

"What makes you laugh? God’s plans."

What are you doing these days?
This year will see over two dozen productions of my plays, all over the US, in Canada, and for the first time in the UK. I try and see as many as I can, but there reaches a point when doing so would leave me no time for writing.

What turns you on creatively?
Anger. Irritation. Annoyance at the world, everyone in it, and the fact that things should be different. Escaping to a world where things are the way they should be – and by that, I mean the way I want them to be – is a great relief. In the real world, bad people usually win, injustice frequently goes unpunished, and idiots tend to get elected.

If you were a mind-reader whose mind would you like to read?
My own. Seriously, there’s some things that confuse the hell out of me in there.

If you could travel in time, which era would you visit?
The future. There’s some things I’d like to know… of course, knowing them might mean that they wouldn’t actually occur. Darn paradoxes.

What is your favorite sound?
Storm waves on a rocky shore.

What is the album or song that influences you the most?
Random selections – I have an I-tunes folder of “writing music” with Eminem, early Simon & Garfunkel, Edwin Starr, bollywood dance numbers, and Gershwin tunes in it. The contrast, the mental conflict going from one to the other keeps nudging ones brain in different directions.

Who would you like to collaborate with? And why?
After the writing is done, there are a million talented people I would love to collaborate with – directors whose work I admire, actors who can elevate a character beyond the words. While writing? Get the hell out of my room and leave me alone.

What drives you crazy?
People who are intolerant, categorize and over-react. They should all be dragged against a wall and shot.

What makes you laugh?
God’s plans.

If you had 3 wishes what would they be?
The first one would probably be to make the best possible wishes for the second two. I mean, it would suck to wish for a million bucks, and then find out that you could’ve just as easily chosen to live for ten thousand years as supreme ruler of the Planet of Nymphomaniacal Nurses.

What is the craziest thing you ever did?
I was a stuntman for ten years – so I’ve danced on a gargoyle on the Chrysler building, leapt from one building to another for “Seinfeld”, and set myself on fire more times than I can remember… but the craziest thing? Moving to L.A. to be a full time writer.

What makes you feel embarrassed?
Everything I’ve ever done – I am never satisfied, I live in a state of perpetual disappointment in myself. In an ideal world, memory would only last a week or so.

What are your favorite web-sites (not including the ones that you are participate in)?
Craigslist – I love the rants and raves section.

What is the silliest thing you have ever done?
I got married before I was twenty one. It lasted about a year.

How would you make the world a better place?
Which world? I have big plans for the planet of Nymphomaniacal Nurses. For this one… I would dial down religious fervor. A little is fine, but the minute you start believing that you’ve picked the only right one out of the 4,200 or so on offer, you need to get a grip on yourself. Once you start thinking that it’s okay to hate someone that chose one of the 4,199 others – you become a detriment to the race. Snap out of it.

What is your biggest weakness?
I don’t believe I have any – and yes, I do recognize that that itself is a massive flaw in my character.

Where will you be in 10 years?
Well, the planet of… okay, I’ve run that one into the ground. I’m hoping I’ll be a recluse everyone’s heard of but no one can get in to talk to.

Write a question that you like to ask yourself and answer it.
Where can I see one of your plays?
Oh – just check out my website, I’ve got a list of upcoming productions. While you’re at it, buy a book or two.

Who would you like to answer that Questionnaire?
God. I mean, even just to get a reply would answer a whole lot of questions. (I mean, if it was signed “Evidity” (the God of things shaped like a potato), there would be a whole lot of people who’d have to re-examine their choices.

– Peas
Death – Scythe
God – Evidity
TV – Mother
Family – support
Politics – brick wall
Internet – spider web
Music – dance
Happiness – chocolate
Arthur M. Jolly – future Pulitzer prize winning playwright and pretty decent guy, if a little pretentious.

Arthur M. Jolly is a writer, playwright, and screenwriter.

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