The Questionnaire

"One time when I was visiting The Vatican I got the Pope really drunk, and then while he was sleeping I put his hand in the holy water."

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What are you doing these days?
Making a huge To Do list, and then ignoring it because I’m too busy doing things.

What turns you on creatively?
Funny people. Awkward situations. Parody that pays great attention to detail. Anything surprising. Apples. See, that was surprising. When I said “Apples.”

If you were a mind-reader whose mind would you like to read?
My dog Buddy. What the hell is he thinking about all the time!?

If you could travel in time, which era would you visit?
Thursday. I’d like to eat that sandwich again.

What is your favorite sound?
Silence. It’s great for napping.

What is the album or song that influences you the most?
Anything by Justin Bieber or Alice Cooper. Preferably a duet between the two.

Who would you like to collaborate with? And why?
The homeless guy at the corner with the sign “Need Money For Drugs.” That guy is HILARIOUS!

What drives you crazy?
When you go insane in the membrane.

What makes you laugh?
People getting hit in the nuts, as long as they’re not me or any of my friends.

If you had 3 wishes what would they be?
1. Candy, 2. Less wishes. I just want some candy.

What is the craziest thing you ever did?
Killed a guy with a shrimp fork.

What makes you feel embarrassed?
Finding out the shrimp fork didn’t do enough damage to kill the guy, and then finding out it wasn’t a guy at all, but just a plate of shrimp.

What are your favorite web-sites (not including the ones that you are participate in)?
2girls1cup.com and Mormon.org. Oh, wait, you said ones I DIDN’T participate in.

What is the silliest thing you have ever done?
One time when I was visiting The Vatican I got the Pope really drunk, and then while he was sleeping I put his hand in the holy water.

How would you make the world a better place?
I’d pick up all the litter in the world and dispose of it properly.

What is your biggest weakness?
Kryptonite.

Where will you be in 10 years?
Right now it feels like I’ll still be answering this questionnaire.

Write a question that you like to ask yourself and answer it.
Is there anything you think should be off limits in comedy? Yes.

Who would you like to answer that Questionnaire?
Greg Benson, but seriously this time. I mean, for fuck’s sake I didn’t learn a single thing about the guy.

Associations
Love – Shack
Death – Yeshmin Blechin
God – (555) 555-5555
TV – Monty Python’s Flying Circus
Family – Ties
Politics – no thank you
Internet – Where did the day go?
Happiness – That’s one of my favorite movies.
Fame – not the goal
YouTube – I’m very thankful for it.
Greg Benson – Hey, that’s me! I’m Greg Benson!

Greg Benson is an actor, comedian, and a short film director. Go check his production company’s YouTube channel, Mediocre Films.

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